A Married Man

 

A Married Man

Chapter 1

June 1st

 I am married from last 10 years and yes I am not happy. This is not about what a man needs but this is about how his wife feels.

If your wife does not feel happy most of the time, your life feels unsuccessful. Especially you dont feel any motivation towards life. I am not sure It happens with all or just with me. But I believe this is the same case with most of the people if not all ? Am I right ? yes I am. Because  people do talk about how woman feels, how stressful life they have , how many movies you must have seen on human feelings, their situation based on social torture on them but there is not even a single movie i have seen in my 40 years of age which is based on Married man feelings. 

I heard in a broadcast that every 5th person is lonely in this world, and when I say world it does not categorize any specific categories or country. Like someone must be thinking in India we have dowry system or In India people are poor, or dont have basic needs of their life.

But the speaker in the broadcast was talking about all over survey report which he has done by doing years of research.

So let me let you why I am not happy. At night we were watching a match, had nice food. I asked my wife to go for a walk in the night time and I remember I had no argument at all.

I was unable to sleep at night almost the whole night. I slept around 3:30 am or maybe 4 but I set my alarm for 6:30 am so I can help my wife get Rudra ready or in her kitchen work. But I slept again trying for 5 more minutes and turned off my alarm as well.Then I noticed the time was already 8:34 after my 5 more minutes of nap. I understand I could not wake up but as soon as I woke up I tried to speak to my wife about some small thing but she didn't respond. Her mood was off, so I tried to do some cleaning. To help her, I kept some non-usable items outside of our gate for the cleaner to pick-it up. I asked my wife if I should do the brooming or moping. She said no, then I asked her if I should make juice which I make daily, one glass for her, one for myself, Dry-furits and mango with milk. She said not for me. Then I went downstairs for meditation. I kept on thinking what happened ? Did I make any mistakes at night ? Did I clean the utensils properly ? Did she see any message or any order from amazon for my family ? I could not find anything. I thought of calling my friend but dint call him, thinking what will he think ? That I always keep on complaining ?

Should I call my sister ? but then I re-call a video in which someone was giving GYAAN k never share your problems or pain with anyone. So I didn't call anyone , I simply played meditation music and some yoga. I heard a kid’s screaming sound while doing yoga, A kid, maybe age 8, got stuck on gym equipment, I helped him and made him call, informed his parents and then I came back. Once I came I told this to my wife to start some conversation, But I got no response. I have no idea why she is always in tension. She has never ever talked with any Boy, she is so good character if someone is trying to assume anything negative thoughts. It's just her own world. She is busy at work and all the time she keeps on thinking about something.

I am feeling so alone and let out everything in my diary but due to privacy I don't write in my diary as well. So here I come to let out my loneliness today as on 1st June 2026.

Another day I wanted to order shoes for my son. She asked to get one pair of shoes for his school. I asked where the old one I wanted to check the size if I could order online. But what and how she responded was hurtful. She said “ I can afford his shoes I will pay, you go and get it, Hitesh anuj k liye apni family k liye bada ho jata hai mera beta nhi pahan sakta kya ache shoes” I had no idea from where Hitesh anuj came in the Picture but (They are my nephew)

Why does she have to compare any items with my nephews, why can't they be happy? I have my own Flat, no EMI , I have a plot on her name, flat on her name, both are Loan free. She is working in one of the top IT companies earning 1 lakh in a month Always works from home. Why can't she be happy ? What should a man do to keep their wife happy ? most of the energy gets wasted to keep thinking about this. And your mood, your child growth everything depends on your family Mahool (situation) She wanted to sleep , she went to sleep I understand she felt tired, 

She cooks good food. We have no issues in our private moments at all. We both work in IT, and go out for dinner mostly on weekends. She is busy with her office work, I also try to help her in cooking , cleaning utensils and feeding my kid (9) years old and also play with him and have a good time. 

Sometimes even if I feel sleepy while watching a movie or any tv show at night or in the afternoon when I am done in bed, I try to take the power-nap on the sofa itself. She says to go and sleep inside but I am scared of her later reaction which is not to me. She keeps on talking ( apna khana apna sona, raat bhar jagna din me sona, ye wo kabhi is insaan ne mere bare me nhi socha ) and it's been going on for the last 10 years.

Every single day I am struggling. Why is her mood off now ? What have I done ? I try to be funny, crack jokes, tell stories to my kid while sleeping, she does not involve any of the story while I am telling stories to my son, she just simply try to sleep. I understand she is tired of being a working woman and managing all the households as well.

Now someone must be thinking why you don't hire a maid to help her. I did for years but she will keep on shouting for help if she takes any unplanned leave, I had to clean the utensils because I have approved her leave. She will get angry at her work also and do nothing to the maid, this is all anger to me. Utensils are not cleaned properly, see this bowl, see this glass.

Under the sofa cleaning is not done properly, see the balcony. And I have changed a few maids to see if things are better but all are the same, as they have to finish multiple house.I have decided not to have the maid for cleaning and this is not about cleaning this is about how a man feels being married to a person she is introwords.

I love going to the lake, birdwatching, but if a pigeon made a home on our balcony she would keep on shouting at me. What's my mistake in this ? and I am sure the pigeon wont understand her language at all.In one balcony the mother left 2 eggs because my wife does not want the birds, In the small balcony there are two small babies and I am waiting for them to start flying so I can get the net fixed and no more birds.

As per my wife, if birds are not good for luck at home then why do people keep them as pet ? Can anyone answer this ? this post is not to criticize about my wife but just let out my feelings with unknown, if you are one of the known to me then dont Judge, everyone has the similar life but not everyone is good to write the feelings to share.

So let's learn to share and I welcome your comments or your stories.one question to you if you have read it till here. Do people stay married just because of a kid or do they separate and get divorced for their happiness as well ?