Deep Dive with yourself..

Hi, Good morning to yourself, Yes

it's yourself am greeting to !! Don't be surprised to talk to yourself in life sometimes, in fact, which we do most of the times, but we have never taken it seriously to call it a DeeP Drive with yourself.

Its Tuesday morning 26th Feb 2019 and 7:34 am IST. I came from night shift yesterday night and slept around 4:00 am after watching some youtube to make sleep. Generally, I wake up around 11:00 am but today something disturbed me in my dream.

yes, you read it right !!  My own dream disturbed me from my early morning sleep. You might have heard it multiple times in your life or must have heard it somewhere that "Dreams are not what you dream in your sleep, Dreams are the dreams which doesn't let you sleep. Written by DR. APJ Kalam" 

But its true. It has happened to me multiple times. and these dreams don't let me sleep peacefully. which costs me my early morning sleep or sometimes my midnight turns in to moring keep thinking and keep talking to myself. 

we Human are being affected by a common issue called "JUDGE SOMEONE or ASSUMPTION " which you must have done before jumping to my next line. 

Yes, you must have started judging myself by now thinking I must visit a doctor or am too stressed or I need a close friend or this can be anything as per the best thoughts in your mind. End of the day you know yourself rather then me assuming you here again that what will you think about me and prove it again that we humans are affected by a common issue called "JUDGE SOMEONE or ASSUMPTION " 

actually, it happens with most of us which I assume again being a human but most of the time we are not mature or capable enough to realize that we are talking to yourself and its the same thing which Dr. APJ Kalam tried to say in his saying "Sapne wo nhi jo aap sote Huwe dekhte ho, Sapne to wo hai jo apko sone Nhi date" whenever it happened with me I used to write it on dairy, yes that's the most easiest way to express yourself to talk to yourself and make it a self-discussion with yourself, or you can call it "DEEP DRIVE WITH YOURSELF" and of course which brought me to the success till now in my life.  Maybe in your words am not success yet but I don't give all the rights to your to Judge me here again on my success definition. 

My meaning of being the success for myself to coming up with the best solution until I made it true and dint disturbed me again, which called my dream I tried to write each of my small dream on papers and just worked on it which actually helped me in life and every time made me happy too. And yes end of the day it's all about happiness. Am I right? ask yourself even though I won't be knowing the answer but it's about you this time. and am sure the answer made your smile and if not yet then pose here and ask again? you will smile am dam sure about it.

this is the first time am writing it online believing Mr. Modi Digital India and yea its easier than writing in my diaries which became eye-opening secrets to my siblings sometimes, let me mentioned the first name my younger brother "Mahesh". he used to read it and used to keep it with himself until we used to fight for something which I called now the memories with your siblings. am sure everyone has such sweet and painful or joyful memories. which I already mentioned you know yourself better than me. I called it sweet memory but i had stopped writing some secrets and so many self analysis in dairies after he used to say " FIR LIKHEGA APNI DAIRY ME OR ROYEGA" which meant " you will go and write again and start crying so let it be" Maybe he has gone through some of the painful self Deep Drive discussion with myself which I end up writing on speechless pages which called speechless but talk a lot when they start talking. 

and now I can say maybe because of fear of losing your secret you also never tried to write in on any piece of papers, or maybe your have tired but stopped after knowing that you are being of that Chander who has stopped writing it for years and so.

let's talk about another type of people who have been into the same situations but end up talking about it to someone close friend, or with parents or with their GF/BF or with anyone. But now if you are one of them then try to recall it and smile again that it was not just a solution to that particular problem which got resolved by discussing with someone, its again about yourself, You let someone of your close person to read your personal thoughts which you could not write or keep it with yourself and came to some conclusion. but you Deep drive with yourself, with your own unanswered thoughts, with your curiosity of "WHY always ME" situations. I could be one of them like you, in fact, it tried too. I have spoken to some of my friends too the 2nd and 3rd name here Ravinder and Vicky Gupta but most of the time I missed my Dad.

I always wanted to discuss such situations with my Dad, yes I lost him in my childhood when I was in the 9th standard of my school days. even though I was in the teenage group but I used to sleep next to him in winters, when you get to sleep with your mom or dad even you get a separate bed in summers.

maybe that's the reason I miss him in such situations, i used to complain and talk to him about so many things until I fell asleep and the best part was he always had an answer of my stupid and childish question, hoping every dad on earth try their best to answer their kids, even if they don't know and they end up saying anything to keep you shut, but in my case it was not so, Google was not introduce to me yet, so my dad was my Google. and I believed him whatever the answer was. and yes I still remember, sometimes my questions were like " Dad why these spiders make Web ? " and the answer was " Sprinkler flies to trap the flies so that they can eat them" or "Machar makhiyon ko jaal me fasane k liye taaki wo subah inko kha sake"

when life has become spider's web "makdi ka jaal" and we are the flies who try our best to get out of it and keep trying by discussing our life issues with friends or family and it keeps going in all the generation. some of them get to identify and become the writer, some of them end-up writing a `few blogs and some of them stop writing dairies in the fear of getting exposed by their dear ones.

the time which I spent with my dad made me believe that every question has an answer. and I kept on asking people whoever is surrounding me if no-one then to myself and now we have google. Getting an answer from Google is not that interesting and enjoyable the way it's asking to your loved ones, like your Dad, your mom or your GF/BF. you always have feelings now you know it which you think most of the other people don't know yet. because being an innocent kid you think they don't have your dad (the other kids).

I have been writing so many lines by now but haven't come up with a season why I woke up at 7:00 am and from 7:30 till now which is 9:00 am, still writing, so the dream was knowing your own family.

Let me Elaborate, ( new word from 3 idiots ).  we all have families and especially am talking about our cousins who are our brothers or sisters but we hardly get time to spend with them or to know them more like coffee with Karan. I don't know it happens with you guys or not but am talking about what has happened with me. I have few cousins which I feel having a "chai pe charcha" how is life going on, how did you handle that situation, have you ever been in such situation, in fact, they are your elders and they have seen all such situations before yourself. in-fact they can be your idle, sorry let me correct myself, why do we need an idle. but yea we can at least talk to them to know your family, your own family, your past moreover some issues they must have gone through and handled in a better way.

let's ask yourself and you have full rights to judge me here if am right or wrong. maybe we all have few people in our lives who are not talking to you anymore or maybe not the same way they used to talk. or maybe you have tried to say sorry to them for no reason as per yourself but you tried to convince them. and why it still bother you ? does their importance in your life still matters that much which doesn't let you sleep properly? 

No, it doesn't, but as I started my lines its Deep drive with yourself. We need to talk to yourself and analyze what are we not good enough to not to hate by our own family members at least . are we not good enough to prove yourself that we are not same anymore, we do think about family, we do think about their presence and we still think we can be happier than we are, in fact, they are also busy in their busy life, everyone has own busy and hectic schedule in their life. but don't you think for them also we are part of their own family, did they ever think of you ? or your presence in their life ? or they are also end-up discussing it with their loved one ? or they have also stopped writing in dairies with the fair of getting revealed by themselves?

let's come out from our family boundaries and let's think about all other friends too !! who doesn't talk to you anymore or they don't like you? especially why am talking only about them who already don't like talking to you and not focus on myself?

there are so many why and I keep talking to yourself in our daily life but we ignore them, maybe we think its waste of time or no point of talking about it. or any reason. 

But my point is analyzing yourself and the best way to find your bad part to work on it is to talk to the people who already don't want to talk to you anymore. tried to know why? what happened ? what can be done? how can he/she forgive you? what needs to be improved? and need to tell them you need their acceptance with better you in yourself. and let them realize it's their loss too by continuing the same harmful heat for you.

we have so much other useful stuff to work together, there are hundreds of issues about your family, about your family status, about your problems, about their problems which not just give you satisfaction, but also the happiness of acceptance. because satisfaction is the key to happiness.

maybe you take few minutes to finish it fast or you left it in middle but it's 9:30 am IST and it took me complete two hours to write in my digital dairy called "BLOG" try to talk to yourself and take my words, you will feel awesome. its a great exercise for self-satisfaction, again that's the key to happiness.